I bet it’s often that you read a positive article or post and you roll your eyes thinking, “Tell me something I don’t know” or “tell me something new.” So many of us really know what we should do… you know that you should invest more yourself in, start your dream venture, empower your life by drinking less socially and/or start making healthier choices, to name a few.

But how many of us actually implement? Isn’t it true that we “should” ourselves to death (figuratively speaking of course)? We allow the things we “should” do to become the very facet of our lives. If your life is a series of “shoulds” then now is the time for change and I mean drastic change!

The disease of “should” comes with its little friend “but” and this is a deadly combination! The things that we “should” do can often be followed by a huge “but,” that continues to stall life’s progression.

You don’t do the things you “should” do because: “But I have a money challenge” or “but I have no time” or “but I’m busy with my kids and a #%&* load of responsibilities!”

There will always be others who have worse challenges and then some, though they find a way to succeed. The difference is in their approach!

Here’s what I recommend:

Make your excuses into reasons. The problem with excuses is they come in the form of kids, family commitments (at times), job commitments and life commitments. Rather, make your excuses into reasons and shift your mindset.

How would it pan out if you told your kids they were why you never made a serious life change or if you could foreshadow ahead, how would you feel living with the pain of regret later in your life?

STOP using “shoulds” and “buts” to cover inconsistencies. Completely obliterate the use of “should” and “but” from your speech pattern. Now, you may never completely get rid of it, however I believe when you speak exactly what you want you receive that sooner or later.

Practice what you preach. Let your actions speak volumes and allow your speech pattern to guide the things you now profess to be true. Actions are great indicators of how well we follow through.

Make quick, definite, and well thought out decisions. I recently attended a seminar and the gentleman speaking at the seminar said, “Wealthy folks make quick decisions and rarely if ever change their minds!”

I’m not saying, to make bad, hasty decisions, but more often than not humans are plagued with the paralysis of analysis habit. The more you delay the decision, the farther away you move from it and the more you justify why you didn’t take that leap of faith.

Increase your self-image. Your self-image determines the value you place on yourself and is often a good sign of your sphere of influence and the quality of life you live!

Read, listen, attend and grow yourself! There really is no qualifiable (my word!) excuse why you can’t do these things. It’s all about making great decisions and having them influence your lifestyle.

Have specific goals and have dreams. Dreams evade all logic…dreams are the very fuel to our accomplishments and are often emotional. For instance, buying a ferarri will never motivate you like getting out of debt will.

Goals are always set with specifications. Whenever you set a goal always attach a date. For example, “get out of debt” is not a goal; instead, “I will be completely debt free by May 25th 2016” is a goal. Just as you have deadlines for events you plan and projects at work, your goals also need to be concise and specific.

Have a game plan to follow. Most people lack direction in life not because they don’t have dreams; it’s often because they have no one guiding them. The wealthiest of people have coaches guiding them, how about you? When you have a coach to whom you’re accountable, following through is an easier plan of action.

When the only person mentoring you is you, then it’s easy to slip back into old habits and let old thought processes guide our actions or lack of.

Just do it! The best advice I can ever give you is to do. It’s the only way to the path and life we seek. When fear creeps in to stifle your growth, stop and quickly do. The more you do, the better you get!

I was feeling especially taxed on time today and it would’ve been so easy to procrastinate the things that I needed to do and the way I was feeling I really felt like giving up and calling it a day.

But then, I reminded myself that I never give up and proceeded to speak what I wanted all morning long at every opportunity and I did the things I needed to do and my day had a complete 360 degree turn around!

Making that mental decision coupled with action was exactly what I needed!

Let’s take that leap of faith even if it’s a small one. Do it. You absolutely are made for greatness! Let NOW be your time!

C.T.A: Did you like this post? How about any additions? Thank you in advance for liking, sharing and commenting!

How To Stop “Shoulding” Yourself

6 thoughts on “How To Stop “Shoulding” Yourself

  • February 11, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    wooohooo. Glad you are finally sharing all of you with us! Thanks for sharing and taking the next step.

    • February 11, 2016 at 6:56 pm

      Thank you Neal! Big step for me but absolutely necessary!

    • February 14, 2016 at 4:15 am

      Thx Un! I truly appreciate it, especially coming from you

  • February 14, 2016 at 11:38 am


    I’m so glad you’ve added this video. We can now see the beauty and hear the voice behind these wonderful words of yours. You are taking this site to a whole ‘nother level! Way to go! Proud of you 🙂


    • February 14, 2016 at 9:30 pm

      Thx! It’s a huge step for me. Thank you for keeping me accountable & being a great friend. I’m excited that you’re a part of its success too!


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