Are you like me…Do you have a fragmented past? An absurd, distorted abstract you’d just like to destroy?
Me? I’d love to crush some parts of it and stomp with spiked shoes upon its very being. I’d love to get frightfully violent with it…what’ll that change? Ah, nothing at all except it’ll feed the beast born within the child that watched in horror as a real monster broke her mother’s nose and finger.
For a long time I never wanted to talk about it because I feared that my mother would be embarrassed, petrified if the world knew. I realized half the world must have known and well she did NOTHING wrong. In fact, today she laughed and said go right ahead!
Can you stop for a moment and imagine a woman still crushed by the loss of the love of her life, a woman who’s forced to see the light, to see happiness where there is little because she must for her son and daughter.
Here she is running a business, owning land, living humbly and all the while struggling to exist in a world dominated by men, dominated by ogres who prey upon any unsuspecting, innocent, good people.
Boy if you could see hearts, you would see a heart of gold. A heart that harbors no animosity, vengeance, ill will, games, false pretenses or angst.
She’s taught me to be this way…and I remember half of what happened. I remember the ogre and Mrs. ogre in tow, stomping up the stairs, “thump, thump, thump,” his bulging morbid belly jiggling in his anger, his grunts echoing throughout the neighborhood and shaking our steps as he carried out his monstrous plan…has money and land caused his cowardice?
He’s a coward at heart! No!!! he’s a coward at WILL! He became that the moment he hurt the first woman I ever loved…the moment he hurt a woman period!
He became lower than scum the moment he did that in the presence of a screaming, terrified child…a child who lost her father at four…a child who had to bear the torment of watching anger and hatred play out before her watering eyes and aching spirit.
There was a time when I wondered whether karma or the Golden Rule would find and throttle that ogre and his tall sinister better (worse) half. I stopped wondering a long time ago, as I’ve seen it happen like a matinee from hell.
That ogre, he built his castle, I’ve lived to see the structure intact, but the foundation crumbling. I’ve lived to see the dilapidated distress and destruction the ogre brought upon itself.
He sat there defeated, broken by life, broken by his actions…all that’s precious to him turned to dust. His castle overtaken by cobwebs and cockroaches…a mirrored reflection of his inner turmoil.
I didn’t sit laughing, eating popcorn and watching on…I pitied it, that’s what this ogre is an it, a lowly it, merely an it parading as a human . To be a human you must have heart, but when a human parades around with a beating, pumping, functional heart but acts without remorse… he is no longer a he…
I thought; “what a sad life” well deserved, but sad nonetheless. Everything comes back to us, I truly believe that…the moment you do anything, the blessings or blight is already ricocheting back to you.
You may not believe in the Golden Rule or in Karma probably because you’d like to see just punishment play out before you and/or you’d like to be assured that they got EXACTLY what they deserved.
My name is Satya and since it means Truth, here’s your truth serum:
- Because you don’t see punishment happening, it certainly doesn’t mean it never occurred or will never occur.
- Punishment doesn’t HAVE to be physical, it’s often mental.
- Repenting isn’t only in words, it must be genuine and definitely from the heart. Just because you’ve dabbled with the idea of repenting it doesn’t mean you DO NOT have to pay for your trespasses.
Even when bad things happen in life as they always will…you have to know WHO you are and WHY you are…
In fact, bad occurrences are essential resistance for strength building and for developing an unshakable sense of self.
I’m a resilient person because of those experiences. I’ve been made and grown to withstand almost anyhow.
It is the battle wounds and the beauty in the world that have brought me to love the pen, shown me my dreams, given me hope, clarity and the fight to victory!
This is only a speck of my story…I know you’ve a story to share, a victory to clarify and build. The question remains, will your struggles be all for naught or will you make them count?
I want to take a moment to say that I’m so thankful to have been born to loving parents. I spoke of my mother in this article and my mom always speaks of my father. She has always likened him to a king, a person of valor, integrity, kindness, compassion and of a person who was the epitome of patience and love.
I feel nostalgic as I reflect on the great times and ponder the incredible times to come. One last piece of advice; the bad times will sting like a bee with a sword like stinger, however allow the good times to trump in your life.
Do not allow the present or past of the ogre(s) to permeate and poison your life, you are too precious…you are made to touch greatness, to become great…
Here’s what I hold precious:
C.T.A: Did you like this post? It would really mean a lot to me if you like, share, comment and subscribe. How about you, what ogre have you overcome or what ogre are you overcoming? Tell us your story, we’d love to hear from you! Xo